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At the core of my work, I always return to the idea that every relationship begins with the one we have with ourselves. As the holidays approach, expectations come at us from all directions, and it can feel nearly impossible to stay connected to ourselves—let alone nurture the most important relationship of all.
During a season that’s supposed to feel festive and joyful, our thoughts often become overwhelming and exhausting. Questions pile up: Who do we have to invite? Which set of parents do we visit? How do we tell our family we’re not coming this year? How do we say no simply because we don’t want to go?
In a world where the power of “yes” is so often emphasized, what if we gave more attention to the power of saying “no”? No is what creates boundaries. No is what allows us to care for ourselves. Yet so many families push through the season by splitting up and stretching thin—one parent shuttling kids to a birthday party while the other sets the table for a dinner they’re too tired to enjoy.
This “do it all” mentality—reinforced by societal pressure and, in some ways, shaped by the pandemic—comes with a cost. It’s worth asking ourselves: What is this constant motion doing for us? What are we avoiding or distracting ourselves from by filling every moment with activity?
This holiday season, I encourage you to get curious about what it might feel like to slow down. To say no. To set boundaries. To choose the relationships and moments that truly nourish you—including the one you have with yourself.