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Clinical Review: All medical and clinical information in this article has been reviewed for accuracy by Jordanne Sculler, LMHC.
Starting couples counseling can feel intimidating, but the first session is generally designed to be a comfortable, information-gathering experience. The primary goal is for your therapist to understand your relationship dynamics, identify your core challenges, and determine how best to support your goals. It is also an opportunity for you and your partner to see if the therapist is a good fit for your needs.
Most initial sessions follow a structured format. You can typically expect to discuss the history of your relationship, what prompted you to seek therapy at this specific time, and what you both hope to achieve.
I offer a complimentary 15-minute consultation for all couples. This initial meeting can be held together or individually with each partner, depending on what feels most comfortable. During this time, we'll briefly explore what brings you to therapy and begin to identify the most supportive path forward. We'll also determine whether we're a good fit and, if so, schedule your first couples session.
During the intake, your therapist will likely ask questions to guide the conversation. These often include:
To help you get the most out of our initial work together, I encourage couples to take a little time to reflect before our first session.
Consider what you each hope will feel different in your relationship. These don't need to match perfectly - what matters most is having an honest sense of your individual perspective.
Try to come in with openness rather than a fixed agenda. The first session is about understanding your dynamic and creating clarity, not immediately solving every challenge.
It can also be helpful to notice a few recent moments that stand out - times when you felt especially connected, disconnected, or stuck. These real-life examples often give us a meaningful starting point for our work together.